Sometimes it just feels like I'm floating along, watching my life as a movie. Then I am jolted "awake" somehow and realise that this is IT. This life is my life and I have pretty complete control over every aspect of it. I think that scares the bejeesus out of me and that's why I slip into film-mode. But those moments of lucidity are useful in motivating me, if only for short bits of time. Maybe it's something like the Matrix (a film series generally reviled by me, although the concept was brilliant).
I woke up early and took the muttleys out for a walk in the supremely humid Oklahoma morning. For the first time I found myself looking forward to the "dry heat" of Phoenix. I just looked it up online, and the current humidity here is 84%. In Phoenix it's 24%. Of course this will wreak havoc on my beauty regimen, but at least I won't feel sticky just walking out the door. I'm all for saunas, but on a strictly voluntary basis.
Bucket went to daycare this morning, and before I even got out the door had discovered that he can leap over a 3 foot baby gate. Good information to know. He should be exhausted by pick-up time, and I can crate him up and take Miss D to the dog park. Then hopefully they will both mellow out tonight so I can get some (more!) packing done. I may tape off the guest room for painting, too. Ah the best laid plans. The reality is that I will go online--just to check email--and end up playing WoW for the next four hours.
More people at work are discovering that I'm leaving, and at first it really bothered me. It didn't make sense at first that I would be so defensive about it, but then I realised that as more people asked about it and the more I talked about it, the more real it became. I had tried to stay in my little cocoon of denial, but my! how the rumours spread... Suddenly people I hardly know are coming up and expressing regret at my departure (a nice ego boost, to be sure!)! The very odd thing is that the more I talk about it, the more excited I get. I've started looking forward to being in a new place and getting a new job and meeting new people and riding new trails and and and and....
It's a trend, the "And" thing. It's excitement, and overload, and it's all good. It makes my brain work more than usual, and it makes me live more. It's like being 8 years old again, and having everything seem new and shiny. I like that.
1 comment:
I know what you mean, about the excitment of a new place. It's exciting and scary all at once.
My vote for your evening plans is stick with plan A (taking Ms. D to the park and taping the guest room) BUT when done with said things then allow yourself online. I use the computer as a reward for myself at times.
Give the two mutts love from and Aunt they've never met yet!!
Post a Comment